Chasing Circumstance Read online

  Using my feet, I scooted myself up toward the head of the bed and motioned for him to join me. I needed to fuck this man… NOW!

  The softness of the pillows enveloped me as the weight of Stuart’s body on top of mine pressed me into them. His breath was hot against my neck as he pushed his way inside me and my hips lifted and ground against his pelvis with every stroke. I felt the pressure building between my thighs as every thrust brought me closer and closer to that perfect place in time. That place where everything disappeared and all I felt, heard, sensed was the culmination of ecstasy rushing through my body.

  My fingernails dug into the skin of his back and drew blood as my body bucked against his in total, utter and complete euphoria. He growled a low moan, and I felt him join me in that moment. Collapsing atop me, I felt the rush of his heartbeat against mine. We had done it… We had finally done it. We came together as one being, as one energy, and it was perfect.

  “Dear You,

  The early morning light stole my lover from me. It was probably for the best. All too often we confuse the intimacy of sex with the intimacy of love. I cannot allow myself to do this. He broke my heart, and because of that, I could never trust him again.

  We have our meeting today. Will the actions from last night affect our business relationship? I hope not. I was sent here to do a job… I think.

  Was I really sent here for this meeting? Hmm, now that I think about it, we usually handle these things over the internet. She did this on purpose! She knew what would happen between him and me!

  Boss Lady, I know you’re reading this blog. I have two words for you… Thank you! Sometimes I think you know me better than I know myself. Well, off to get showered, dressed, and to the meeting.

  So today, dear readers, I leave you with this question…

  Can a shared sexual intimacy heal a broken heart and allow for trust to take over once again?

  ~Amia”

  CHAPTER FIVE

  “Through this campaign, we will reach millions of customers on a daily basis, and that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you hired Millian’s.” I stood at the head of a long table surrounded with executives that were all clapping at my presentation. I had done it. I had pulled off the meeting and left them knowing we were the right choice. I knew Jo would be proud of me.

  After fielding a few questions and making nice with the board members, I placed my papers in my satchel, grabbed my jacket, and started to head out of the conference room when Stuart stopped me in the hall.

  “Amia, we need to talk.” Stuart stood in front of me with his hands in his pockets. I could tell by his demeanor that he was nervous.

  “Is everything alright? Did you have questions about the campaign?” I pulled the strap of my satchel over my shoulder as I awaited his reply.

  “I need to see you before you have to go back. We have a lot to talk about. Can I pick you up after work and take you out? Show you around Glasgow? I would like to cook for you, if you’re okay with that?” He rambled as he spoke. It was as if he were afraid that if he didn’t say it all at once, he would lose his nerve, and never say it.

  “Sure, Stuart, I would really like that. You’ve always talked about your cooking and working under Chef Ramsay, so I want to see just what you’re capable of doing. There’s no need to pick me up though, I’ll have Jeffrey bring me to your place around seven. Is that alright?” I bit the inside of my cheek to keep myself from smiling and to remind myself that he had broken my heart. I knew I had let myself get lost in the moment the night before, and had hoped we could work things out, but today was a new day and I had come to my senses. He had used me and I wouldn’t allow the current emotions to wipe the pain of that away. He didn’t get to be forgiven that easily.

  “I was hoping to pick you up so we could drive around for a little while.” The look on Stuart’s face told me he was disappointed in my choice to be brought to his home.

  “We can still go for a drive. I just like the idea of having my own transportation. Anyway, you don’t want to have to drive me back to my hotel after dinner.” I wondered if he was picking up on the distance I was attempting to place between us, or if he was downright ignoring it.

  “I was hoping you would spend your last two nights in town with me. I was hoping…” Stuart’s words trailed off as he looked to the floor. I could tell he was upset with my suggestions.

  “Why don’t we just play it by ear? I’ve learned not to count on anything when it comes to you and me. I still have your address from the letters you used to send me, and I’m sure my driver is capable of finding your place, so I’ll see you at seven.” I didn’t give him a chance to answer as I walked away. I needed him to feel the same pain he had caused me. Hell, I wanted him to feel even worse than I did.

  Jeffrey was waiting for me and opened the car door as I approached.

  “How did the meeting go, Miss Amia?” He tipped his hat and nodded.

  “It went exactly as planned,” I smiled as I sat down, “please, take me back to the hotel.” Once Jeffrey was in the driver’s seat, I explained my plans for the next two days to him. I let him know he did not have to wait, but would be on call and that he would be paid regardless of how much I needed him. He seemed happy to have some time off and thanked me as we drove back to the hotel.

  Upon entering my suite, I stripped down to nothing, made myself a cup of coffee, and enjoyed it on the terrace. I knew I was so high up that no one could see me but at that moment, I wouldn’t have cared. I was feeling sexy, strong, and empowered.

  While I sat drinking my coffee, I scripted the next two days in my head. I always felt better heading into unknown situations with a plan of action. I prepared myself for every possibility I could imagine. His words and actions told me that he wanted me to stay and rekindle what we had. I knew what we had was built on a lie, so there was no hope in resolving the situation, but Jo was correct in saying that I needed closure. I was going to get my closure come hell or high water. Since I didn’t believe in hell, I only had to worry about the high water.

  Filled with determination, I finished my coffee and headed inside to prepare for the next forty-eight hours. I pulled out and packed my overnight bag with a couple changes of casual clothes, a pair of walking shoes, a set of pajamas, and my laptop. Almost forgetting the knock his dick in the dirt lingerie, I opened the dresser drawer and placed it on top of the outfits I had packed. Now, it was time for me to ready myself.

  After filling the bathtub with the hottest water I could stand and adding bubble bath, I climbed in and submerged myself in its healing attributes. I swear I looked ten years younger in the few days I had been in Scotland. I honestly believed there were restorative powers in the water.

  Lifting my leg through the suds, I watched the soap run down my thigh as I pulled the cold steel of the razor across my skin. There was something about the scraping noise that provoked a feeling of sensuality in me. Maybe it was because I knew it left my skin soft and silky? I could never quite put my finger on it, but I loved it nonetheless.

  When I finished shaving, I sat back in the water, and relaxed with a warm washcloth over my face. I could feel the steam penetrating my skin and working its magic. I was almost tempted to bottle some of the water and take it with me when I returned State-side, but I seriously doubted that would go over well with customs.

  Realizing the time, I pulled the drain from the bath, and stood to wash my hair in the shower. I didn’t want to be rude and arrive late. The warmth of the water cascaded over my freshly shaved skin and made it tingle as it flowed over me. Looking up, I noticed the showerhead was a removable, handheld unit. Hmm, nothing like a little pre-game practice.

  After thoroughly enjoying the showerhead, I stepped out of the bath and wrapped up in a towel. Sitting at the dressing table, I applied moisturizer to my face, and while waiting for it to work, I smoothed lotion over the rest of my body. The coolness of the lotion felt especially inviting against the warmth of my skin. It made me feel allurin
g and ready to take on the world.

  I usually wore very light make-up because of my career, but tonight was different. I wanted to play up my big blue eyes, forcing Stuart to pay attention to them. I needed him to see into the depths of my soul, needed him to see the depth of my love, and what he was missing out on because of his deceitful game.

  After applying my foundation and blush, I covered the lower part of my eyelid with a delicate grey hue and then brushed black across the crease to add depth and shadow to my eyes. Finally, I highlighted my brow line with a shimmery white color, outlined my eyes with a soft black liner and put on mascara.

  When I finished my make-up, I covered my body in a light mist of my new perfume. I loved the sweet and honest scent of it. It brought back childhood memories of sitting on the porch and watching the rain soak the earth.

  I wasn’t sure why, but I had always despised the saying, “We all put our pants on one leg at a time,” and ever since hearing that expression, I slid my jeans onto both legs at the same time. I think it was because I didn’t want to be like everyone else.

  After pulling the towel from my hair, I put on my black lace bra and a fitted, light pink t-shirt. I then returned to the dressing table and applied my lipstick to my lips and placed my necessities into a make-up case. Walking back into the bedroom, I tossed the make-up into my overnight bag with the rest of my things.

  I put on the new Fendi heels I had purchased to go with my gown and was pleasantly shocked to see that they looked just as great with my skinny jeans as they did with my gown. Taking a deep breath, I threw my shawl over my arm, gathered my bag and purse, and pushed the button to open the doors to my private elevator. As the doors opened, I entered the lift with my shoulders back and chin up, ready for whatever was awaiting me.

  Jeffrey was right on time as usual. He tipped his hat to me as I approached the car. “You look charming this evening, Miss Amia. You’ll knock his socks off.” Jeffrey opened the door for me.

  “Thank you, Jeffrey. That’s the plan.” I winked at him as I got into the car.

  Stuart’s flat was only a few miles from the hotel. I thought about calling him when we were close but decided against it. Instead, I relied on the fact that he was aware I would be arriving at seven o’clock.

  The script I had prepared ran through my head on a constant loop. I had memorized every word and each gesture to be sure I was well prepared. I absolutely would not allow him through the protective walls I had constructed around my heart. After all, they were built because of him and his deceptive schemes.

  Stuart was standing outside when we arrived. Jeffrey pulled up next to his car and opened the door for me. As I began to step out, Stuart approached me, took my hand, and helped me out of the car.

  “Jeffrey, would you be a doll and grab my things from the back, please?” I turned to address Jeffrey.

  “Your things? What did you bring?” Stuart kissed my cheek and then reached to accept my bag from Jeffrey.

  “Oh, I just packed a small bag should I decide to stay as you asked of me. A lady can never be too prepared.” I turned to address Jeffrey. “Thank you, I will call if I find myself in need of transportation.”

  “I told you, I would be more than happy to give you a ride back to the hotel if you don’t want to stay,” Stuart interjected into the conversation. Though it bothered me that he felt the need to interrupt, I kept my cool.

  “And I told you that I am more comfortable with providing my own transportation. Thank you anyway.” I nodded at Jeffrey to assure him that it was fine to leave.

  “Well, I thought we would go for a drive and stop somewhere to enjoy the picnic I have prepared.” Stuart placed my bag into the back of his car and then opened the passenger side door for me. I was still getting used to things being on the opposite sides from what they were in the States. “Your chariot awaits, Cinderella.” He opened the car door and made a grand sweeping gesture with his arms before bowing to me.

  “Why thank you kind sir.” After performing a slight curtsey, I took his hand, and sat down.

  Stuart got into the car and said, “Well, we’re off then.”

  We sat in awkward silence as we drove to Glasgow Green, a park in the east side of Glasgow on the northern bank of the Clyde River. It was absolutely breathtaking. There was so much there to see and do. Walking around hand in hand for a bit, we looked at everything. We stopped in front of the McLennan Arch at the north-west entrance to the park and asked someone to take a picture of us in front of it. Continuing on, we stopped at the Nelson Monument.

  “This was originally built in 1806 in dedication to Admiral Horatio Nelson. He was a British flag officer that was famous for his service in the Royal Navy during the Napoleonic Wars. It stands nearly one hundred forty-five feet tall. Four years after it was erected, it was struck by lightning and the top twenty feet of it toppled to the ground, but it was repaired not long after. In 2002, we spent almost $1,500,000.00 to restore it to its original condition and install floodlighting.” Stuart stood on the opposite side of the monument from me as he told me about it.

  “It sounds like you know your history.” I took a few snapshots of the monument as he spoke to me.

  “Thanks, but I just read the plaque.” Stuart laughed as he answered me and came back around to where I was standing. “Shall we continue?” He took me by the hand and kissed my cheek.

  “Absolutely, I love the history here.” I felt the blush rise to my cheeks and fought it back. Nope, he was not getting in that easily.

  After stopping at a few other landmarks and taking pictures, we walked across the St. Andrews Suspension Bridge, stopping in the center so I could take pictures of the sun setting over the river. Stuart had sent me photos online, but to actually be there and see it all for myself was a whole other experience altogether. It was simply awe-inspiring. The richness of the colors was like none I had ever seen before and I felt myself getting caught up in their natural beauty. I had to stop myself from being swept away and make sure my feet were both firmly planted in reality. I could not allow this time with Stuart to cloud my judgment.

  “Are you hungry?” Stuart whispered against my neck as he walked up behind me on the bridge and wrapped his arms around my waist.

  “Yes, I could eat. This is such a lovely place for a picnic.” I stepped away from him, turned, and took a picture of him. I didn’t really care about the picture, but I used it as an excuse to not be that close to him. He was making it difficult to follow my script.

  “Oh, we’re not eating here. Come on, it won’t take us long to get to our picnic destination.” Stuart took me by the hand and we were off again. This time, there was no awkward silence, but instead, we talked about what we had just seen at the park. I caught myself prattling on like a schoolgirl and had to bite my tongue to stop myself.

  Fifteen minutes into our drive, Stuart pulled over on the side of the road. “I need you to trust me, Amia. Here, put this over your eyes, please?” He handed me a folded bandana.

  “Stuart, I don’t want to ruin our time together, but it’s kind of difficult for me to trust you.” I accepted the scarf and held it as I spoke to him.

  “Please, I promise, it’s for a good reason.” His smile was so soft and real that I couldn’t help myself.

  “Alright, but don’t make me regret this decision.” I smiled back at him, tied the bandana over my eyes, and sat in silent anticipation.

  Ten minutes had never passed so slowly. I bounced my legs in eager apprehension as we drove to our next stop. This was an unexpected turn of events that I had not prepared for in my script. My mind raced with the possibilities of what was about to happen and how to prepare for it, but how do you prepare for the unexpected? Inhaling deeply, I placed my hands on my knees in an attempt to stop my legs from jumping like a cricket during mating season. Just as I got settled, the car stopped.

  “We’re here. Just sit there for a minute, I want to prepare everything, and then I’ll come get you. No peeking!”
Stuart kissed my cheek and I heard his car door open and then close again. I sat there listening to him open the trunk of the car and the sound of his footsteps as he walked away.

  A few minutes later, Stuart opened the car door and took me by the hand. “Watch your step.”

  “How am I supposed to watch my step when I can’t see anything?” I laughed as I answered him.

  “I know it’s hard for you to trust me, but right now, you don’t have a choice.” Stuart took me by the hand and led me away from the car.

  “There is always a choice, even if it is only how we choose to deal with the situation at hand.” Pulling from my script, I came up with the perfect answer.

  “True and I am happy that you chose to trust me.” We stopped walking. “Okay, you can take off your blindfold.” Stuart released his grip on my hand.

  I reached to untie the scarf and as I lowered it from my eyes, my breath caught in my throat. “Is this… Is this…” My thoughts were lost in the majestic view that stood before me.

  “Yes, this is Bothwell Castle, the place we intended to be married.” Stuart stepped in front of me and swept me into his warm, strong embrace. Tears rolled down my cheeks as our lips met in a gentle kiss. “Why are you crying?” He kissed the tears from my face.

  “Because this is too perfect, Stuart. This is what it was supposed to be and then you… then you broke my heart!” I cried harder. This time it was not happy tears though.

  “Amia, I know I don’t deserve it, but I hope that one day you will be able to forgive me for the pain I caused you. I was in a dark, lonely place, and I honestly never thought I would ever meet you face to face, but here you are. You proved me wrong, and I couldn’t be happier about it.” He once again hugged me close to him in an attempt to calm me.

  I cried on his chest for just a moment before gathering myself and wiping my tears. “Why now? Because I’m here? If you had just been patient, if you hadn’t lied, if you had just stuck to our plans, things would have been so different.” I felt myself starting to get angry. I took a deep breath to calm myself again. “You know what? There is no sense in talking about it now. Let’s just enjoy ourselves, okay?” I stepped back from him, turned, and looked down. That’s when I saw it.